Subcribe to the free Grown Up Kiss Chase newsletter for all your stories, tips, techniques and events related to finding love here:
SHAY'S BLOG, ON THE TOPIC OF BEING CAPTIVATING (TO CLIENTS AS WELL AS TO LOVE) IS NOW HOSTED
Kill the Nerves & Get a Date
22 May 2011
One of the most valuable lessons I learnt recently, is that many people are finding approaching a potential partner as still being one of their biggest fears. I thought I’d create a note of the top three things that helped me get over stage fright in the hope that it may help you before speaking to that special person that’s caught your eye!
In a moment of madness earlier this year, I decided to combine my LOVE of jazz with my hobby of the stage to learn to sing. My previous most embarrassing singing moment was when one of my legal clients got hold of my “woof” CD and wondered what the hell it was (its vocal practice!), but that was nothing compared to last week, when I was put in a position where I was performing in front of an audience of about 120 people. With my old “I’m not Aretha” story running in my mind, and being asked to open the show I was feeling more than my fair share of nerves! About 10 minutes before I was due on stage I was desperately hoping I’d see Anna, my teacher, so she could calm me down. I didn’t. I think someone up there was urging me to learn the lesson for myself and I’m going to share with you the three ways that I managed to centre myself in this completely nerve wrecking scenario
How do I surprise and delight my partner?
I reminded myself that my purpose in singing was to surprise and delight the audience, with more than just my Manolo Blahniks. By taking the focus to the audience and how I could best serve them, I forgot about myself and my lack of Aretha style vocals. When applying this to an approach, try not to think about “me” and “what must she think?! sh*t!!!!” Instead, think about the other person and how you can say something that would most please them in that moment.
Fake it til you make it
One of my favourite top tips when you’re lacking confidence is to borrow someone else’s. Remember John Cage in Ally McBeal? Before he was going to go into Court or approach a woman, he’d encapsulate the spirit of Barry White. Mad? Slightly. Did it work? Hell, yes! I decided to go a bit woo woo with this one and my person of choice was my higher spirit, an insanely playful & beautiful woman who doesn't know the meaning of nerves! Every time I think about how she would want to be portrayed through me, the world seems like a happier, brighter and more loving place. I highly recommend you try this!
Change your environment
Remember that old trick of imagining everyone in their underwear? Well, it works. It makes the audience seem a lot less scary than just a mass of people. For me personally, I had a think about what environment would make me feel more comfortable, rather than thinking about the audience. In the end, I decided to pretend that I was singing in my car or to one person whom I felt very loving towards rather than worrying about the 100+ people there. If you are about to approach someone, remember, that they are just a human being like you and imagine them being absolutely delighted with your approach and it all going smoothly. Imagination is a powerful thing – just remember to use it in the positive and it’ll really boost your chances of success!
And for those of you that want to know how it went – here it is!
If you want some individual help with your personal presence, I am currently running a one off and completely amazing package with my other business Sheer Distinctionwhich will not only help eradicate all the nerves that you might have, but we’ll also create for you a bespoke brand, perfect image & as a very special bonus, you’ll have your business photographs taken by the highly sought after Christina Morassi. We have a limited number of 30 minute brand assessment consultations to give away too, so send me a message if you want some more details or visit www.sheerdistinction.co.uk
Creating a Sizzling Relationship (aka Teachings from Tony Robbins' Date with Destiny)
21 Dec 2010
As some of you may already know, I spent some time earlier this month in the beautiful Palm Springs for Tony Robbins’ Date With Destiny Event. Before I went out there, the only feedback I’d hear about it is “its fantastic!”, but no one actually tells you what it is all about. So I thought I would share one of the many insights that the event offers :)
This one is the secret that sets apart a relationship that’s a real sizzler, and those that are experiencing the dreaded “fizzle out”.
So what's the secret?
At the risk of sounding like I’m going back to caveman times, its all to do with masculinity and femininity i.e. men, ladies like you to behave like men and ladies, men like you NOT to be afraid of your femininity. If you’re in a gay relationship, your core energy (i.e. masculine or feminine) may not necessarily be the same as your sex, so this theory works for you too (I’m using the terms “man” and “women” for ease :)
My favourite example of this in action is the old movie “Working Girl”. You can watch its trailer here:
Melanie Griffiths is the classic feminine woman, not afraid to look and act like a woman whilst also being very smart. In the end, she gets the man too, unlike her competition Sigourney Weaver who plays the classic “masculine woman”, who ultimately just isn’t that attractive with the super male energy that she projects.
One of the best analogies I have for this is that not living in your core energy is like putting the batteries a remote control around the wrong way. There is only one way that they will work totally perfectly and that way is when they are at their harmonious opposites.
My last bit is just for the ladies...if you are interested in embracing your femininity a bit more, this event sounds simply divine, so do check it out :)
Men, rest assured that if I hear wind of any amazing man events, I will keep you informed about those too :)
How to Put Someone On Cloud 9
Merry Advent Everyone!
I’d like to start by saying this:
(: You are all totally wonderful :)
Thank you for being here, reading my newsletters and for all your lovely comments; you’ve made this snowed-in girl feel very special and loved :) And if you write to me individually, you may get my demonstration of an even more PERFECT compliment, which is what today’s note is going to be about. Compliments are a funny thing. Sometimes, we’re so wrapped up in our own stuff that we don’t realise people are paying them to us. So I’m going to invite you to play two little games this Christmas:
Count the Compliments
Count all the compliments that you receive during advent – even the little ones - you’ll be positively glowing by Christmas day when you open your eyes and start paying attention (you’ve already had one at the top of this note to give you a head start!)
Spread the love and see how many compliments you can give. For those of you that are a little shy – see you if can play the game too, because no matter who you are or who it comes from, how good does it feel when someone pays you a really nice compliment? How great would it be to make someone else feel that way?
In order to pay an absolute KILLER compliment that has the capability to put someone on cloud 9 (dynamite if you want to absolutely charm someone) there are only three things to remember:
1. Make it genuine and sincere. People can smell insincerity a mile off, but sincerity has the power to touch someone’s soul
2. Make it evidence based e.g. rather than saying “I think you’re really witty”, you can say “I think you’re really witty because that thing you did last Friday just had me in stitches all night”. The second is far more powerful because you’re telling the person how you reached your decision, making your decision all the more valid
3. Don’t have any expectations or attachments to what will happen after you pay the compliment; if you’re only paying it so that the girl will give you her number, she’s not going to be as flattered. If you pay it “just because” she’s much more likely to part with her number in the first place!
Follow these steps and you can make someone else feel a million dollars (and spreading the good karma will be great for you too!) Happy complimenting!!
Where do I go on my first date?! 22.04.10
This week's article comes to you in association with www.veggievision.tv - which is a fantastic website dedicated to all things vegetarian - including dating, for those of you seeking a vegetarian guy or gal! Karin, who runs the site has just a dating survey & I'll be sharing the results with you guys over the next few weeks. This week I'll be focusing on the ideal first date...its so important to make a good impression, yet so stressful to find out exactly what to do! Karin's survey reveals that:
72% said that going for a meal is the ideal first date
14% would like to chat in a pub
12% would love to go to the theatre
2% want to go clubbing!
Other romantic dates include:
Walking and adventure
Hike to watch a sunset while enjoying a glass of wine
A delicious meal at home
My personal top tip on a first date is to keep it simple. I'll never forget the date where I was taken to Gordon Ramsey's Maze on a first date. Amazing venue and food, but sadly there was absolutely no chemistry and 4 years on, I can't even remember the guy's name! In contrast, my first date with my boyfriend (not involving an entourage of our friends!) was in a pub in Southbank. In my humble opinion, somewhere you can go for a quick drink in a nice (but not OTT) venue is perfect. Adrenalin activities (such as ice-skating) for example are perfect too as it gets you to bond immediately. As harsh as it sounds, you don't want to get stuck with the man who thought his ex was the one and has no idea what he's doing out with you over a 3 course meal (sadly yes, I speak from experience!) Seriously though, a first date should leave you both wanting more and that means short, sweet and only providing a brief insight into why you're both so wonderful! If it works out, you'll have plenty of time for Michelin starred restaurants and telling each other everything later
John Gray & The Biggest Speed Dating Event EVER 08-04-10
This week, I’m going to keep things really short and sweet and share with you two really exciting events coming to the UK next week! The first of these is a talk by none other than John Gray – the most famous relationship guru of them all. In fact, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” was the first relationship coaching book I ever read, so you could say that John Gray started my coaching journey for me. He’s giving a talk around his newest book “Why Mars and Venus Collide” at the IBIS Hotel in Lille Road (West Kensington/Earls Court) area next week (April 13th), so if you fancy an enlightening night out, book your tickets here and I’ll see you there.
Now this next one is just for you singles out there. This next event is an absolute bargain at only £10 per person, with a buy one get one free special offer on at the moment! The Guinness Book of Records is aiming to host the biggest speed dating event. Ever on Sunday 18th April. Better still, you get to do it whilst cooking yummy Italian pizzas! So if you are single, why not give it a go with one of your mates, and if you don’t leave with at least a date, at least you can have some great food and contribute to a record. Here is the link:
Shopping for your perfect Hubbie or Wife 26-03-10
This week, I thought I'd keep things really light-hearted and tell you all about the husband store and the wife store! The game to play here is to think about which floor you would stop at and see if there is really a pinch of truth in this old joke. I would like to think that I would stop at floors 3 or 4, but nearly all my girlfriends have made it up to 5! The men in my life have unanimously said "why would you go beyond the first floor?!" Lets see if you agree...
The Husband Store
Five whole floors here dedicated to your shopping experience - yeay!! On each floor, you can either pick a husband from that floor, or go up to the next floor. If you choose to go to the next floor, you cannot go back down unless you want to leave the store. So here goes....
The door has a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." This is fabulous obviously, but would you choose to go up?
This sign says "These men have jobs, love kids, and are great at housework." Even better! But how many of you would go up further?
The door here has a sign saying, "These men have jobs, love kids, are great with housework and are incredibly handsome". I bet a lot of you are now tempted. But how many of you would go up even further?
This sign says "These men have great jobs, love kids, are incredibly handsome, help with the housework, have a strong romantic streak and a great sense of humour." Would most of you stop here? Or are you tempted to go and see what the fifth floor has to offer.....
You are visitor 72,123,098 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. The exit is to your left.
The Wife Store
The Wife store also has five floors and the same rules as the husband store apply.
Ladies that love sex
Ladies that love sex and are kind
Ladies that love sex, are kind and enjoy sports
The fourth and fifth floors have never been visited.
Feeling angry with someone? Try this… 14-03-10
Many of you are probably have related to the line “its all his/her fault, that *****!!” at some point. In fact about 96% of us live most of our lives without being open to the possibility that we could be the root cause of our own experiences. After all, it isn’t in human nature to want to be wrong is it? But in the words of one cynic, the real question sometimes is "do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?"
How would it be if you opened your mind just a little tried taking full responsibility? My favourite example of this working like a charm is the classic jealously scenario. Mr. Blue is late home from work one evening. He comes home to find one of these two women:
““****king b**t**d is having an affair with his secretary. He always stays out late with her or his friends - I’m going to be so mad with him when he gets back!!!”
“My darling’s probably stuck in traffic/on the train - I hope he’s ok, I can’t wait to see him”
Do you think Mr. Blue would prefer to come home to Miss Red or Miss Pink? Funny thing is, even if Mr. Blue is very faithful, Miss Red’s behaviour will probably drive him away eventually. On the flip side, even if Mr. Blue is being unfaithful, if he comes home to Miss Pink consistently, he’s more likely to want to be faithful.
So even if Mr. Blue really is the effing bleep that Miss Red thinks he is, to many of us, how much better will her relationships be if she took responsibility for her part in his behaviour? If may not be immediately appealing to take the blame, but one thing that responsibility gives you is absolute power. You may not be able to change someone else, but you can change you and often that can give you magical results
Overcoming life's biggest challenges - even fatal accidents! 27-02-10
Beat The Valentines Day Blues! 11-04-10
Yes, its the dreaded Feb 14th again! I know I know, you'd rather sit in a hole and hide than look at all those sickeningly happy couples out there! One year, I remember trying to boycott it all by going to an "Equality and Diversity in Law" lecture (not one of my finer moments!) Just to rub it in, walking past places like Clinton Cards or the normally quite innocent Boots really does not help matters.
Well, it really needn't be like that. As a single person, or someone who is going to be without their partner on Valentines Day, there are a myriad of things out there to do. Luckily it falls on a Sunday this year which is a legitimate staying in night, but if you don't fancy that, the two events that really caught my eye this year are:
The Scent of a Woman
Yes, that home of romance - The Science Museum (?!) has decided to host a dating event with a difference. What does your perfect partner smell like? Well at this event, that's all you'll have to go on to pick your perfect date, as all the participants will be blindfolded! Interested? Visit http://www.danacentre.org.uk/events/2010/02/12/552
My Gosh Marvellous
This is the one I'll be going for on the big day...a decadent 30s-40s olde worlde nightclub experience featuring swing bands, dancers, cigarette girls and all the uber glamour of the era at Camden's Proud Galleries. And it's a steal at just £10! Get your tickets at www.mygoshmarvellous.co.uk
If all else fails, why not plan a fun singles dinner with friends and use it to celebrate your singledom and the people you really love.
Keep Those Resolutions and Wish Your Way to Success! 12-01-10
What better topic to kick off the New Year with than resolutions? Ever wish that they weren't just made to be broken? According to the very popular book "The Secret", it just doesn't need to be that way! The idea very simple - ask and you shall receive! Your thoughts attract your reality, so the more positive your thoughts, the better your reality becomes. Careful that you don't stray into the negative though, otherwise, you will get that instead!
So for you sceptics out there, try testing this out next time you have to find the perfect parking space - if you expect one, you'll get one, remembering of course that its important that you stay positive! I tested this out on the challenging parking world of Piccadilly last night; during my drive I simply expected a great space. Guess what? I saw not only one but two! However, I had to drive around the block to go get it. When that happened, I became stressed about not getting the space I'd seen (yes, I am guilty of pointless road rage at times!) and the thought that then went through my head was "I bet that really slow driver in front of me is going to steal my parking space". Guess what happened? Yep, that annoying Polo took the space I wanted and my other space was gone in a matter of seconds too!
The writers of the Secret believe that positive expectation it will work with anything you put your mind to, so why don't you learn from my minor mistake, stay focused and postive and try it out for yourself? I'd love to hear any Secret success stories at firstname.lastname@example.org
I hope that you’re having a fantastic festive season so far. The season is brimming with friends, parties, holidays and hopefully blossoming romance! With all the social opportunities around over the festive season, this is the ideal time to accept all those party invites and see who you can meet! Flirting need not be a scary word – it is nothing more than charm, with perhaps a little romantic charge behind it. Romance or not, being charismatic with everyone can never hurt, and at the very least you’re sure to make someone smile. In order to get you flirting this festive season, I’ll share with you my “FLIRTS” acronym – your instant guide to get flirting right away:
F is for Fun
A conversation is about having fun! Make sure you enjoy what you're talking about and that you ensure your potential lover is enjoying the conversation too.
L is for listen
Always have a genuine desire to listen and understand what the other person is saying. The focus in your conversation should be them and not you. They should be showing you the same courtesy. Be enthralled!!
I is for Interest
Make sure you have some interesting topics up your sleeve to talk about such as current affairs, movies or what your friends are talking about at the moment. If you get stuck, take the conversation back to your partner and show that you're interested in them and what they're saying.
R (in the words of Aretha Franklin!) is for R-E-S-P-E-C-T
This almost goes without saying. Make sure you don't cross the line. Challenge or tease gently if the atmosphere is right, but be warned - take it too far and you'll lose.
T is for Tone
Your tone of voice has a huge impact on the words you say. Match yours to that of the person you’re talking to for an instant subconscious connection. Keep it slower, lower and deeper for instant seductiveness.
S is for Smile
Lastly don’t forget the favourite, and perhaps the easiest flirtation technique of all - the smile!
Its been a very special week for me – one of my dearest friends has just had a baby girl so I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome Isabella to the world and also to dedicate this week’s article to Isabella, Annabelle, Sasha & Casper – the youngest grown ups on planet Shay.
And on the subject of little grown ups, I think that sometimes, some of the most astute and yet beautifully innocent words of wisdom, come only from the very young. As many of you know, I have been searching for the answer to what love is for a long time now. And no, this doesn’t mean on numerous disaster dates, but on asking you all what you think. The answers that have bought me a very warm glow inside in a big way were the ones from the Marion Richardson Primary School, which I had the privilege of visiting recently. In the words of one boy “Love feels like you’re dancing on the moon with the stars all around you”. Awww. Who would have thought that it would be a group of young, 11 year old boys who could be the most romantic? Perhaps a more predictable answer from the boys was “Love is when its your wedding day, and your favourite football team is playing, but you still turn up at your wedding”. I’m glad he had his priorities right. The overwhelming feeling from the boys was that marriage was very important and it was unthinkable that they would not do anything for the woman that they eventually loved and married. I have to say, they displayed far more traditional (and lets face it lovely) values than I was expecting. So ladies, next time you’re despairing about your man being more of a boy than a man, remember that even the youngest boys have the sweetest, innocent little romantic in them, just waiting to be discovered by you! And men, the women in your life rarely have the desire & capacity for romance completely hidden so (hopefully) you'll always know just how much you are loved and appreciated.
Learn to do a Karate Chop in 3 hours! (20-11-09)
Wouldn’t breaking a solid piece of wood with your bare hands be a cool party trick? And no, you don’t need hours at the gym or training sessions with a karate black belt to be able to do it. Well, do Joseph McClendon III it isn’t about strength – its about controlling your mind and believing you can do anything!
I was invited to Joseph’s event this Monday, the advertising tagline for which is “NLP meets the Secret”. Joseph himself is a very charismatic chap who looks like he’s in his mid-late 30s, but is actually 56! The thing that strikes you the most about him though is his passion to help and his love of motivating others to be the best that they can be, no matter what your life circumstances. Sounds amazing right? So I decided to take with me my biggest coaching challenge – my gorgeous mum! Bless her, she’s a lovely and amazing woman, but won’t do anything that’s even remotely dangerous or difficult and has always been more in the “worrying” rather than the “positive thinking” category. A challenge indeed when board breaking is the highlight of the evening! So I sold it to her as a night out with her daughter to go to an interesting lecture. OK, so my advertising skills are not the best, but it worked and she came not really knowing what to expect.
In 2 hours, Joseph managed to not only make the audience feel fantastic on a Monday night, but he also convinced everyone that to receive anything in life, all you have to do is to ask. Ask God, the powers that be, the universe or the sky – whatever your chosen belief. If you believe that it will come to you it will. Then comes the board breaking part of the evening…sometimes you don’t know how you’re going to do something, but you break though and do it anyway! Despite Mum’s excuses of how she desperately needed to go to the loo (clearly to avoid the board breaking!), I saw right though her tactics and she ended up doing it! I have never been so shocked or indeed so proud of Mum! And once she’d done it, of course I had to do it too (having talked her into it in the first place). She’s been using Joseph’s techniques to make herself feel happier, more proactive and for once really is embracing the belief that the good things in life will simply come to those who expect them, even if you don’t know how. The same is true of anything in life – including finding your ideal partner – all you really need is the firm belief that the right person is out there waiting for the right time to walk into your life and a touch of pro-activeness on your part!!
I really can’t recommend Joseph enough – he’s an amazing guy and if you are interested in seeing him live and maybe even doing some board breaking yourself, check him out on facebook or on here: http://www.tonyrobbinseurope.com/easyconsole.cfm/id/131.
Beginners Guide to Singles Nights part 2 05-11-09
This week I’m going to talk to you about taking the plunge and hosting your own singles night! Most singles nights in the UK will have some or all of the following games played, but you can do anything you like, as long as its easy for people to talk to each other. For the guest list? Just ask your friends, work colleagues and acquaintances to come and party with you and bring at least 1 single friend with them. One of your friends’ friends could be the ideal person for you! To get your party started, these are a few of the most popular singles games:
Lock and Key: Everyone is given a lock or a key right at the start of the evening. The aim is for you to go around the venue asking if anyone has the key to fit your lock or vice-versa – an excuse to break the ice straight away! Find a few old padlocks and ribbons and hand them out as people arrive!
Encounters Wall: This is a great idea for your shy guests. Take a quick digital snap of everyone as they arrive, print out the picture and stick all the snaps on your fridge/a wall. People who fancy a certain someone can then leave a message behind the picture of the object of their affections.
Singles Bingo: A bingo board with a difference! Find out a quirky fact about everyone that is coming along e.g. “has been to Japan”, “has done a pole dancing course”, “dated a celebrity”, “cooks fajitas as their signature dish” etc. Collate these facts onto a table and give a copy of it to everyone as they arrive. Everyone will then try to complete their bingo table by matching the facts to each of the people in the room.
Speed Dating: This can be easily set up around a dinner table or a lounge. Give each couple three minutes to talk to each other then ask then to move onto the next person. This takes a little co-ordinating, but can be a feature of the evening to get everyone talking to each other!
The Chocolate Fountain: yummy! The fountain is always a popular place to hang out as the world is full of chocoholics, so you’re likely to get someone’s attention for more than 5 minutes at such a scrumptious meeting point. And as a host…get onto ebay and buy one for your party – it’ll be an instant hit!
The beginners guide to singles nights…part (1) 23-10-09
The things I go through in the name of research! OK, so its been a few years since I have actually needed to go on a singles night and I was semi-horrified when one of my friends invited me to go to one with her in Berlin last Friday. “Honestly, its just like a normal night out clubbing” she reassured me. So I put on my best “I’m taken” act and went in the name of research and so that I could play the role of a supportive friend without breaking any hearts (yes, I’m big headed enough to think that I actually might ;) So how exactly did I not pick up?
· I went to the dance floor only with my friend.
· I did not make eye contact with anybody except the bar staff
· When my friend was getting chatted up I decided to make myself scarce, sit on one of the sofas in the corner of the room and just people watch at a distance.
· I made little effort to talk to anyone new
· I don’t speak any German anyway
· I didn’t make an effort to smile at anyone
And you know what – it worked! I definitely didn’t pick up that night which my boyfriend will be delighted to hear. However, but if unlike me, your aim is to go to singles nights to actually meet someone, make sure you’re not putting on any of my above behaviours!! Eye contact, a smile and a willingness to talk to anyone and everyone in the room will really work wonders in that kind of environment, so if you’re going along to meet someone make sure you take along an open mind and a really good mood.
Back in the UK, my personal view is that we’re really blessed with the singles nights that we have on offer. In the ones I used to go to, they are rarely just a clubbing based experience where someone can easily turn up with their non-single friend. After all, one of the most comforting things about a singles night is the fact that you know everyone else in the room is single. A lot of singles nights have themes so if you only want to meet wine lovers, dancer enthusiasts, Jewish people, antipodeans, older women/younger men, or anything else you can imagine, there will be a night out there to suit you. One of the best websites I have found for looking online (and sadly, no, they are not a sponsor – just a site that I thought was good) is http://www.smartdatinguk.com/singles-nights-uk.asp# to compare all the singles nights in your area!
For those of you that are missing the event of the week section this week, its difficult to ignore the fact that its Halloween next Saturday! Why not check out the fabulous sounding Halloween Singles Ball run by the Elect Club in London? They’re running a decadent, glamourous and fun filled night just for those of you that fancy dressing up and checking out some gorgeous ghouls! For more information and tickets go to: http://www.electclub.co.uk/events.php?eventref=47
2. Your friends' parties
Going to parties is one of the best places where you can meet new people. If you have not met all of your friends' friends, you never know if there may be someone there who you might be interested in. If you don't have the type of friends that throw regular parties give single's nights a try instead. These events are like going clubbing in an environment where you can assume that everyone there is unattached & if you are of a shyer disposition, there will often be a variety of party games to spark off conversation.
1. Smiling at random strangers
Everyone knows that London is full of commuters who don't look that happy most of the time. Imagine how much you could lift someone's mood by just smiling at them? If they smile back, this may be a great opportunity to start a conversation. And if you think it never happens, its happened to me at least 4 times on the central line, all by pretty eligible looking guys! And even though I'm not single anymore, each time that's happened, its always made my day. So this evening on your way home - its a Friday and its the perfect day of the week to just lift someone's mood because you smiled at them. Go on - make someone's day!
Top 10 ways to meet new people part 1 24-08-09
Do you find yourself telling everyone that you can never meet anyone new? Do you already know all of your friends’ friends? London can be a pretty lonely place if you are exploring the world of dating again or for the first time. However, with a few suggestions to get you started, it needn’t be that way! Nor do you need to be quite as forthright as the little boy in this weeks picture! One of my clients from yesterday told me that she already had FOUR dates last week, just by following a few of these techniques. Perhaps you don’t want that many dates, but I thought I would share with you my top 10 pointers for getting as many dates as you want. If anything, it makes life a little more excting! This week features numbers 10-6 of the Top 10 ways to meet someone new….
10. Going to coffee shops on your own
Being on your own means that people are more likely to talk to you – its less intimidating for the person doing the approaching. Why not ask someone if you can share their sofa next time you are in Starbucks or take a good book, enjoy a coffee and see who comes your way :)
9. The Internet
There are a few taboos with internet dating I will admit, but these are becoming less and less as more busy young professionals are flocking to dating websites. On the whole the people on these sites are not sad and desperate, but normal people just trying a different way of finding someone new. I challenge you to try it and not find someone who is at least interesting!
8. Festivals or small gigs
These are a perfect venue to meet someone new as you already know that you have a shared interest in the type of music/activity featured. It has the added bonus of being a venue where people are likely to be in a good mood and therefore much more open to starting a conversation.
7. The supermarket
Plenty of chat up line potential here – why not try something like "I can't reach…..can you help me?" or "Have you tried this brand before? Is it any good?". There is of course the added bonus that most of us will go to the supermarket anyway. A cursory look at someone's shopping basket may give you a clue as to who is single and who is not :)
6. Lectures or Courses
In many ways this is an ideal environment, as you will both already have a common interest in that you have attended the same lecture or course. This can set the scene for a conversation very easily and you can sit next to a person that you are interested in whilst still being able to make a subtle approach.
Don’t forget to visit us next week for the remainder of the top 10 ways to meet someone. In the meantime, do contact me on email@example.com for your favourite ways to meet someone new!
|The Grown Up Question.... 22-06-2009|
The Grown Up Guide to Kiss Chase aims to answer the age old
mystery of the secret of love with your help. Please complete the
following sentence "The Secret of Love is...." and
send it to me on the form below. All the best
answers will be published in "The Grown Up Guide to Kiss
Chase" and will be eligible for a discounted copy of the book.
|grownupkisschase.com is Live!! 21-06-2009|